My Favorite Sweater Dresses.

My Favorite Sweater Dresses

the $35 sweater dress

this one is soooo good. it’s super cozy like a giant cocoon. wear it with tights and booties… or like a tunic with faux leather leggings. It does run a little short so go up a size if you want a little extra length/

shop!

Oh the sweater dress. If you ask me, the sweater dress has really done a 180, turning a corner from something I absolutely avoided into an absolute cozy must-have. The sweater dress of yesteryear was clingy and usually very fitted… not something I personally want to wear. But give me a swingy a-line or an oversized cocoon sweater dress any day of the week and I’ll gladly curl up in it. They’re great alone with tights or booties… or, as things get even colder, wear them tunic style with faux leather leggings or skinny jeans.

My Favorite Sweater Dresses

I’ve rounded up my ten favorite sweater dresses today. From luxurious (hellllo 100% Mongolian cashmere) to more affordable (the one I’m wearing above is only $35!). The rest are somewhere in the middle… mostly under $100, with the exception of the cashmere one.

PS – while I have you, Express has the best tights. Better than Wolford, better than any tights I’ve ever tried. I buy a few new pairs every year and they never disappoint. Super opaque, long enough, just… wonderful.

My Favorite Sweater Dresses My Favorite Sweater Dresses

collage details: one // two // three // four // five // six // seven // eight // nine // ten

DISCLOSURE: IF YOU BUY SOMETHING THROUGH MY LINKS, I MAY EARN AN AFFILIATE COMMISSION, AT NO COST TO YOU. I ONLY FEATURE THINGS I TRULY LOVE HERE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

photo by Carter Fish.

I Don’t Want Kids… and That’s Okay!

I Dont Want Kids... and That's Okay!

I’ve had this post sitting in drafts for ages but never felt comfortable hitting publish. Today’s topic is an incredibly personal one but something I think it’s important to talk about and normalize.

My friend Jenn inspired me: she was talking about this in her stories. It always jumps out at me when another influencer talks about this – it’s rare. She mentioned having a post about this in her drafts for three years and I DM’d her and was like, “OMG SAME!!!!!” We decided we’d both post today. Solidarity? I highly encourage you to check out her essay: she (a married person) has a different perspective so I really enjoyed reading her thoughts.

Her essay actually made me feel a little guilty and sad – as a single person, I deal with all sorts of criticism but I think it’s even harder when you’re married. People feel sorry for the “sad single girl” who “can’t find a man and settled down…” but when it’s a couple, intentionally choosing not to have a baby, it can inspire anger and people can be truly awful. Her piece (particularly the pregnancy speculation and rude comments) made me really upset.

I would also recommend listening to Kate’s Childless Millennial podcast episode which is the other thing giving me courage to post this!

I don’t want kids. 

If you follow me on Instagram or listen to the podcast you probably already know this.

My PANK (Professional Aunt, No Kids – I learned about it from Erica Cerulo but the term was actually coined by Melanie Notkin) lifestyle and DINK (Dual Income, No Kids) aspirations aren’t exactly a secret, but this is something I haven’t written about in depth, probably because (as important as I think it is to talk about), writing a post like this has a permanence to it and also has a lot of risks: offending someone, inviting others in to my life to give advice I’m not asking for, scaring potential dates who google me away, I could go on.

Also:

What if I change my mind and do somehow wind up having a child and then this post exists somewhere on the Internet!? While I don’t see that happening, you never know: people do change their minds.

I also want to make sure you all know that this is not by any means a critique of anyone else’s life decisions. I love my mom friends! Being a parent is awesome. I like kids! Half of my favorite instagram follows involve children. Some of my mom friends apologize to me about all the kid pics and I reassure them: I AM HERE for your cute kid pics. Lastly: I know so many people who have struggled with infertility. I can’t imagine what that feels like and if that is you, please know: I am sending you the biggest hug ever.

I am writing this post more to normalize my own feelings as I know that many people feel the same as I do, but nobody really talks about. Any time I touch on it (even lightly) on Instagram, it leads to really thoughtful and interesting exchanges in the DMs.

So let’s talk about it!

If you don’t want kids you are not a heartless, child-hating troll.

I’m not a cold, heartless troll. (Unless I’m really hungry, but even then I still have a heart.) I swear. My niece and nephews are the lights of my life. I love my friends’ kids. You can be warm and kind and loving, you can be a great babysitter, you can truly love kids but also not want your own.

Maybe I’d feel differently if I were an only child and didn’t have my niece and nephews. Or if I only had one sister, and I were the only chance at my niece or nephew having a cousin. I’m not really sure. This is something I think about a lot. But at the end of the day I choose to focus on living the life that I want, a life I love… and being the best aunt I possibly can be. If I am living the life that makes me happiest, I am a better person and better equipped to be a good friend/sister/daughter/partner/auntie.

People often ask me when I knew I didn’t want to have kids.

I think I always knew.

As a child, I never cared about baby dolls. As a twenty something, I never fantasized about a dream wedding or baby names. I always said, “oh when I have kids… etc etc” as it seemed like an inevitability, but the actual prospect of having kids felt so far away that it was never scary. The one guy I dated for a long time wanted an army of kids; I remember being really overwhelmed by that idea but thinking, “oh, that’s so far away, we’ll worry about that later.”

I think I always just sort of figured a biological clock would turn on and I’d be walking down the street and see a cute mom pushing a cute baby in a cute stroller and feel some primal yearning. It never happened. I’ve grilled my girlfriends who do have kids. They each described an incredible longing that I admire and think sounds amazing but have never personally experienced.

So, suddenly here I am, a year away from 40. No biological clock, no primal yearning. I still don’t want kids, and my conviction on this has only gotten stronger. It’s taken me a really long time to get here and say that with confidence, and to be honest I only feel so OKAY saying it out loud with conviction because of the DM’s I’ve gotten from so many of you and people like Erica (she came on our podcast a while back and talked about it) and Jenn who have made feel not just okay, but actually confident and hopeful and really good about living my life the way that I want to.

You can LOVE kids and not want them for yourself.

I said this above and I will say it again: my niece and nephews are the true lights of my life. I can’t tell you how much I love them. My heart hurts when I think about them and the best part of last week was choosing Zoe’s birthday gift (I got her a beautiful stroller for her dolls, several rainbow balls (she’s going through a big ball phase), three outfits and a gold crown with pom poms. Overboard? Maybe a little. She only turns two once!

Not wanting children doesn’t make you selfish or a bad person.

Although being open and honest about this has led to a lot of great conversations I have also been called so many awful things in the DMs when I talk about not wanting children.

Cold. Child hating. My favorite line is “But you were a child once!” (What does that even mean??? Um yeah – that’s how biology works? Just because I was a child doesn’t mean I need to be a mother!) My least favorite thing EVER is when strangers tell me I just haven’t been in love enough to want to make a baby with someone. I have been madly in love, it just didn’t work out. And what a rude thing to say to a stranger on the Internet!

This account has become one of my favorites, and this BINGO card is oh too real.

Not wanting kids doesn’t make you selfish, it’s also okay to want to be selfish.

I love my life. So much. I really value my sleep and my alone time and quiet. I value my career. And I love my friends and my social life… and yes, being able to sleep in on weekends if I want to. Maybe if I were a man and didn’t have to deal with the physical parts of growing and birthing a human (or all the societal pressure moms get), I would feel differently, who knows!

I personally think it would be even more selfish to bring a child into the world just because you feel like you have to do it, or worse because you want someone to take care of you when you’re old. A couple years ago I broke up with someone I was dating and his desire for kids was a big part of it, and I remember him arguing me that I was just scared, and me arguing back and him looking really defeated and finally saying “well who will take care of you when you get old!?” And I was like DUDE THAT IS NOT A REASON TO HAVE KIDS!!!!!

Dating when you don’t want kids is hard – really hard.

I think because I am a kind and warm person men automatically assume I want kids. I am a magnet to men who want a big family, men who will be great dads. They are always drawn to how close I am with my parents and my sisters. When I feel ready to date again I think I am going to need to put something about not wanting kids in my bio. I’m still optimistic and know my person is out there, but it’s definitely made things a lot more difficult. Especially at this age when we know what we want… we’re pretty fully formed and less likely to waver on these things.

All I want in the world is to live close to my sisters and their kids… and find a partner who wants to live the DINK lifestyle. I wouldn’t mind dating a divorced dad. I just don’t personally aspire to motherhood.

“But you’d be such a great mom!”

I get this one a lot. It’s very nice of people to say. But it doesn’t sway me. (Real talk, though: should you need to be swayed on such a massive life decision? Why do we try to enforce our beliefs on others? I’m not out here telling people with kids that they’re making a mistake!)

At the end of the day, there are a lot of reasons to do something. But I firmly believe that just because you’d be good at something, just because everyone else is doing it, just because there’s societal pressure and it’s something you think you have to do… those things aren’t good enough reasons for me. I am very happy marching to the beat of my own drum. I love my life. Pandemics aside, every year gets better and I’m really happy with the life I’ve built for myself. I hope I am able to find a partner who wants the same things I want, but if I don’t I also know I will be just fine. There are worse things to be than alone, and when you have amazing family and friends you’re never actually alone.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this. DM’s may take me a bit to get to but please comment below. Or, let’s discuss in the private Facebook group.  

photography by Allie Provost.

Amazon Prime Day.

Amazon Prime Day Picks

Today is Amazon Prime Day! So what does that mean? This is Amazon’s biggest annual deal event, exclusively for Prime members. I guess you could say that it’s their Black Friday, if you will?

I was lucky enough to get a sneak peek of the fashion deals and have rounded up my personal favorite pieces that are on sale below, but will be updating this post with other great deals and sale finds as they come in. It’s crazy how quickly this crept up, I am starting my holiday shopping today which feels like a mixture of crazy and responsible/organized.

Amazon Prime Day Picks

Amazon Prime Day PicksAmazon Prime Day Picks

collage details: one // two // three // four // five // six // seven // eight // nine // ten // eleven (comes in blush too) // twelve

So many good things! A faux fur leopard coat is a must-have in my opinion and this one is so cute… and there are so many cute cozy sweaters like this puff sleeve top which comes in four colors or this slouchy v-neck (and I bought that pale blue sweater yesterday because I worried it would sell out) and of course classic basics like this tee  or this tee (have in white and love it) and DENIM (hello, classic Levi’s at a great price… these, too!)

Amazon Prime Day Picks

Another big thing to know is that Oribe is (for the first time ever!) running 30% off during Amazon Prime Day. Their products are so luxurious – the dry texture spray smells heavenly and is one of my holy grail products.

Again I will keep this post updated. But for now, these are the things that stand out the most to me! And be sure to also check out Amazon’s Prime Day page which has all of their offers in one place!

DISCLOSURE: IF YOU BUY SOMETHING THROUGH MY LINKS, I MAY EARN AN AFFILIATE COMMISSION, AT NO COST TO YOU. I ONLY FEATURE THINGS I TRULY LOVE HERE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Photography by Jami Lyn Fehr.

Shopbop Sale Picks!

My Shopbop Sale Picks

Just dropping in to tell you that Shopbop’s big sale kicks off today! I just placed my order and wanted to get up a post with all my picks. Now through 10/16 (at 11:59pm PST), take 15% off $200+, 20% off $500+, or 25% off $800+ when you use code FALL20. I wanted to share a few things that I have and love, and also… what I bought! This is my favorite time to stock up on basics or designer items I’ve been eyeing but never go on sale. Happy shopping.

My Shopbop Sale Picks!

Things I have and LOVE:

  • Belts! I mentioned last month that I recently sold both of my Gucci belts on The RealReal. To replace them, I bought the black Frame belt above and a camel Rachel Comey belt.
  • Camel Boots. I just bought these camel Loeffler Randall Boots and love them so much. My favorite way to style them is with a pretty midi dress and (for now), no tights.
  • AGOLDE Jeans. I bought these jeans right at the beginning of quarantine and felt so stupid, as I didn’t wear hard pants for a while. But I’m back in jeans and wearing them a lot. The distressed hem makes me happy. I also swear by the Nico jean… I have a few pairs and love them all.
  • This SEA Blouse. It was a splurge but is my favorite special top… it is so pretty.
  • A classic blazer. The houndstooth one I have above is a couple years old from Anine Bing but I absolutely love this very affordable one.
  • This bracelet. It’s gorgeous and makes such a statement (the chain is really chunky)

What I bought this year:

  • A shacket. A shacket is a cross between a shirt and a jacket and I am here for this trend. The perfect topper. I ordered this one and this one. I’m hoping to only keep one but we will see.
  • These faded black jeans. Again, the AGOLDE Nico jean just fits my body so well.
  • This little cardigan, I looove the sherpa panels!
  • These Spanx leggings. I have been doing leggings a lot and wanted a pair that was a) not faux leather but b) not workout gear. And I like the details on these a lot. I realized after I placed my order that they’re not a part of the sale but I’m okay with that.
DISCLOSURE: IF YOU BUY SOMETHING THROUGH MY LINKS, I MAY EARN AN AFFILIATE COMMISSION, AT NO COST TO YOU. I ONLY FEATURE THINGS I TRULY LOVE HERE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

photo by Allie Provost.

This Week’s Good Things, 10.12.20.

This Weeks Good Things 10.12.20

Hi! How was your weekend? Mine was really, really nice. I hibernated on Friday night and then met up with one of my best guy friends for brunch on Saturday at a really fun Brazilian restaurant in the West Village. And I am still dreaming about the delicious cheesy bread we had! I finished a not so good book and started a beautifully written memoir, squeezed in a few really hard workouts, started watching a new-to-me series, and spent most of yesterday working. It’s supposed to rain today so we had to move today’s photo shoot to yesterday.

This week I have a lighter workload than usual, which will be nice. I plan on text banking for Biden (you can sign up here to take a training) a bunch, and getting to bed early. Isn’t it funny, how as we get older (speaking for myself, at least) an early bedtime and a good night of sleep become the biggest luxury? OH, I also have dinner plans with Katie tonight and am so excited to see her… it’s been at least seven or eight months?

PS – the necklace above is from Brinker & Eliza.

This Week’s Good Things, 10.12.20

This Weeks Good Things 10.12.20

RomComPods, Season 2!

I am so proud and excited for Becca and Rachael… today is the day: RomComPods Season 2 is HERE! I was privy to a sneak peek of the first episode and it is SO, SO good. This time around it’s an election themed romance. Without diminishing what they did with the first season, Season 2 is even better than Season 1. You are all in for such a fun treat and can download it right this way!

This Weeks Good Things 10.12.20

The Neck Hammock

This is definitely one of my stranger purchases but I absolutely love it. My massage therapist recommended it to me and after careful research I bought this one, which is the one that Gwyneth Paltrow bought for her team. I have always had really bad back, neck, shoulder issues but they got worse during lockdown without massages, yoga class, acupuncture, etc. I have a tendency toward forward head posture which is not great for a lot of reasons but it compresses the cervical spine. It’s probably a symptom of getting old and also constantly looking down at the phone and computer.

Anyway, this is amazing! You hitch it to the door and just chill out for 5-10 minutes. It works by stretching your neck while also relieving cervical spine compression. I do it after my workout or before bed. Usually I will just close my eyes and put on a 5 minute Headspace meditation.

This Weeks Good Things 10.12.20

Affirmation Cards

I received these affirmation cards as a gift and I love them so much. Every day I choose a new one from the deck and then I carry the card around with me, remembering the message. It’s such a nice, positive little thing to do for yourself and really makes a difference in my day. I love them. I think these would make such a great gift (or stocking stuffer during the holidays) for anyone who needs a little boost.

Paula Rallis Home

Paula Rallis Home

I’m constantly impressed by my friend Paula. Besides all the usual influencer stuff (her instagram page is just beautiful), she’s a mother, a pilot, a journalist… her husband and her invest and flip real estate properties… AND she has the most gorgeous home shop. I don’t know how she does it all, but she just launched an incredible line of new linens. I especially love these dreamy white pajamas and this pillow sham especially.

Slouchy Socks

Slouchy Socks

You know you’re old if you remember the first time slouchy socks were cool. I definitely had several neon pairs as a kid. I’m not really one for trends but have been seeing all my favorite instagrammers (like Jacey and Melissa) wearing slouchy socks and was majorly influenced to buy this set. And honestly? I LOVE them. I may need a second set!!!! But I don’t wear them out of the house (yet? saw Gwyneth Paltrow wearing hers with Birkenstocks) but for lounging around at home they are just PERFECT. Favorite thing I’ve bought (besides the neck hammock, lol) in a little while!

DISCLOSURE: IF YOU BUY SOMETHING THROUGH MY LINKS, I MAY EARN AN AFFILIATE COMMISSION, AT NO COST TO YOU. I ONLY FEATURE THINGS I TRULY LOVE HERE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

photo by Allie Provost.