Weekend Reading, 8.1.20.

Weekend Reading 8.1.20
Mark Cross bag (bought on The Real Real)

Hi! First of all, thank you SO MUCH for your comments on yesterday’s blog post. Truly. I read every single one of them (sometimes multiple times) and it really helped, having a bit of solidarity, seeing how others are feeling similarly. I usually try to reply to every comment here. To be totally honest, I don’t have the energy to do that but wanted to just say a big, very heartfelt thank you here and let you know how much I appreciate this community.

And just like that, we are into August. July felt very, very long. This is a weird measure of how long it felt but I was putting together my reading list (on the blog next Tuesday) and besides the fact that I read more books than I’ve ever read in a single month, it feels like the books I read at the beginning of the month were from 3 months ago! I was like WAIT – that was only a few weeks ago? It’s a little wild. This week was actually pretty busy with social plans (I went out to dinner twice!?) so I am looking forward to laying low at home this weekend besides a visit with my sister and my cousin and my niece today! I have a lot of good links to share with you today – I hope you enjoy them! XO

Weekend Reading 8.1.20

Maybe the most relatable article ever? Coronavirus is making us all socially awkward.

For those in New York: a soft serve map, how clever.

V. happy that one of my favorite overnight peels is available at Sephora.

Was so excited to see my friend Kellie in VOGUE!!!!! So cool and so deserved.

I totally drooled over this Greenwich Village townhouse. That wall of books (the ladder!) is the absolute dream.

Oh look! Target made a nightgown dress. This one is cute, too.

This is a really good (free!) closet decluttering hack.

How fun is this little shorts suit!? (Blazer and shorts) Love.

How to style colorful shoes.

On the nap dress phenomenon. (Do I need one?)

How fun are these gold + sea shell earrings?

The power of the daily walk. I completely agree.

I really love the sleeves of this pretty bodysuit.

I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t know about the PAO symbol on beauty products. This is good information to know.

On creating a morning routine…

This cute embroidered midi dress is now 70% off.

Yup, definitely making this carbonara recipe.

Nordstrom just restocked the Vuori joggers.

(Read my review of them here!)

This essay from John Lewis is so powerful.

The dreamiest London townhouse. So much green!

Three cheers for my favorite silk face mask – it’s now available in ivory, so pretty. Use code BOP20 for 20% off!

This sweet older couple is probably going to be your new favorite Instagram account!

Julia’s collection with Amanda Lindroth turned out so well. They make me think of Harbour Island and The Dunmore. I’ve been thinking about these trays!

Three basic dishes to master.

7 ways to cook zucchini.

Oh I love everything about this puff sleeve dress!

All about the Crawdads movie. I’m excited!

The 35 best movies from the 2000’s (it does make you feel old!).

Love love love the color of this off the shoulder midi dress!

Disclosure: If you buy something through my links, I may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. I only feature things I truly love here. Thank you for your support!

Photo by Allie Provost.

Getting Out From Under a Pile of Sad.

Getting Out From Under a Pile of Sad

What a wild five months it’s been. I feel like I have about 8,000 personalities. Or maybe just three or four. There’s the negative me who hates this. There’s the hopeful me who thinks about how much better we’ve all become as people and feels optimistic. Then there’s productive me who has gotten completely caught up on life admin, redone her finances, scrubbed the whole apartment, groomed the cat, done multiple closet clean outs, and learned how to make bread. There’s also introvert me who sometimes doesn’t actually even mind quarantine. We contain multitudes, that’s for sure.

The thing I hadn’t planned for was that month 5 would be the hardest month of all, even as things have been (in New York) slowly getting better. I think in my head it would all be “fixed” and back to normal by the end of June. I am exasperated and for lack of a better word, over. it. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why this month felt so bad. (Believe me, I’ve spent way too much time thinking about that!)

Getting Out From Under a Pile of Sad

It’s weird when I compare what’s happening now with the beginning of quarantine. In the beginning, everything was closed and I was fully isolated in my apartment. I had been dating someone I really liked and he more or less ghosted me (it’s more complicated than that but I’m simplifying the story as there are personal details I can’t share). All my brand projects were postponed or cancelled. Every other day there was a new article about the demise of influencing/blogging as a career. I was terrified and anxious but still at least felt like myself. Now, things are finally getting better but I feel… worse? WTF!!! It’s confusing!

On top of feeling shitty there’s an added layer of guilt for feeling so sad and down when I know how lucky I am. My business is doing pretty well. The “end of the influencer” articles have stopped. My parents are healthy. I have friends I can see. And New York is finally opening up again. FFS, my hair even looks good and I no longer have cavewoman feet. So I have been feeling very down and depressed with this layer of guilt over feeling bad. I think the lesson here is that you can appreciate how lucky you are, but still feel like crap. This week I finally started to feel a little bit more like myself again. Not 100%, but the dark cloud that’s been hanging over my head for the past 3-4 weeks has moved over a little and the sun is starting to shine again.

The hardest thing, hands down, has been not seeing my parents.

This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other face to face and I hate it. We had a lot of fun things planned and of course cancelled all of them for very good reason. The second hardest thing has been mourning my dating life. It’s hard not even having a tiny crush. I said this in my Q&A, I like attention and have zero crushes, zero boys to text, and zero occasions to meet people. It’s a big zero across the board.

I feel unsettled and unsure of whether I want to stay in New York long-term.

I’m so lucky to live in Brooklyn and have a pretty spacious apartment for New York standards, but one of the reasons New Yorkers deal with all the annoying things they deal with (especially small apartments and high rents!) is the access we have and how incredible the city can be. The museums and the art and the food and just… the magic of the city. I was talking to a friend about this and he had a smart way of thinking about it: right now, for those of us who don’t consider ourselves to be NYC  lifers, the pandemic has definitely sped things up.

I’d thought I’d leave New York in maybe five years but it was always a very loosely constructed plan. We’ll see. I want to live close to my parents. I love the idea of being able to see them regularly, of weekly Sunday dinners. Part of getting them to move to Charleston was because I ultimately want to end up there. But I’ve never really felt fully ready to leave New York until more recently. I’m still not fully ready. But I’m thinking about it more! So that’s been on my mind a lot. (Please don’t hold me accountable for this statement or ask follow-ups; who knows how I will feel in a couple months… I’m just sharing!)

Anyway, I’ve been feeling very sad, and very sorry for myself.

There are days where I truly just want to stay in bed all day. I don’t, because I have to support myself and feel grateful to be busy with work right now… but there have been a lot of days where I’ll finish my work and just crawl under a blanket to be sad. Yesterday afternoon I was looking for the cat. He was under the bed. It was nice and cool under the bed. I laid under the bed with him for a little while before feeling pathetic.

As I mentioned above, something shifted this week and I started feeling more like me. A part of this has been faking it a little. This may be bad advice but I do find that maybe faking a good mood is the way to get into an actual real, good mood? Making myself smile and laugh, to the point where eventually I actually feel happy. Does that make sense? Do I sound crazy? Maybe a little of both but I hate feeling negative, I hate feeling hard to be around, and I also realize that everyone is “in it” right now… we all have our own struggles and sadnesses and are grieving different things and it feels super selfish to lay that onto anyone. But I wanted to share a few things that have helped me, so maybe if you are feeling this way… they’ll help you too?

Things that helped (Besides Faking It):

Doing something nice for someone else.

Earlier in the week I made a birthday care package for a girlfriend and sent some books to friends and family who I thought would enjoy the books. It’s a tiny thing but made me so happy. Doing something nice for someone else always helps me feel a little better. It gets me out of my own little bubble and thinking about me, me, me.

Focus on those micro-highs.

We talked about micro-highs in this instagram post. I am a big believer that giving yourself tiny little things to look forward to (as simple as fresh flowers or a favorite old movie or a call with a long-distance bestie) is the best way to get through a longer stretch of hard times.

Learning about something new.

That is where Masterclass has come in! It’s been really fun spending a little time every day learning something new.

Meditating

I still do Headspace at least once a day and it’s so helpful. Between the daily meditations and the evening wind downs, it helps with better sleep, stress-relief, (low grade) depression and anxiety… all of it!

Journaling

Writing in my journal has been really cathartic. I’d always thought that I didn’t really need a journal as I have a blog and write a lot here but that’s highly incorrect. The journal is for venting and putting down my worst thoughts.. Or mundane ramblings. The stuff I need to get out that nobody else needs to EVER  read!

Doing something creative.

One of the best days was spent making beaded necklaces. Such a small thing but I am making it a goal to do something creative every week, even for just an hour.

Talking to a friend outside your usual friend group.

I was at a point where I felt like I was really burdening my closest friends (Becca and Alex). They never would have said so but I just felt like a total Eeyore. And I had been trying to make plans with my friend Emily for a while but I couldn’t get my act together to make plans. I knew I was being flaky so was just really honest with her. I apologized for my flakiness and told her how awful and depressed I had been feeling. And it turned out she’d been feeling the exact same way.

I am not great at opening up to others (except my poor best best friends), but I can’t tell you how much it helped to be a little vulnerable and find out she was feeling the same way too. We got those drinks (and then dinner the next week) and it really helped my state of mind.

I hope this post was not too whiny and that it was helpful. The reason I share these things is not to be a spoiled and whiny brat or because I want advice (I truly don’t!), but more for solidarity? Because I know a lot of you are probably feeling the same way and when I feel shitty, it helps me to see someone else feeling the same way. And based on my instagram messages after last weekend’s Q&A, I can tell a lot of you are feeling exactly the same as me. In which case, I send you a giant hug. This will pass. I said this in another post but one of the best things that has come with age is realizing that everything is fleeting and that the harder times always improve. xoxo

A Few Good Sales, 7.30.20.

A Few Good Sales 7.30.20
these amazing rope sandals just went on sale!

Jusssst popping in with my Thursday roundup of sales. Only the really good stuff, always!

A Few Good Sales 7.30.20

Ariel Gordon is having her annual Archive Sale. This sale is just two days long and today is day two but it is a GOOD ONE! I was shocked and excited to see that the pearl + diamond pendant I’d been ogling for ages is on sale and I ordered it.

Tuckernuck is running a flash sale, which ends tonight at midnight! Take an extra 25% off sale styles with code FLASH25. I bought this rainbow cashmere sweater and this breezy sundress, in yellow I also love these “garden” earrings but frankly have too many earrings, so someone else should get them!

Love this linen leopard cardigan!

Mango is having a big sale with up to 70% off. In fact, I just bought some things from Mango last week and was impressed with the quality. I bought these ultra chic rope sandals (I have no idea if they will be comfortable but just LOVE them) and love this puff sleeve mini and this little green dress!

I have this dress in red and it’s so comfortable and EASY.

Take an extra 30% off of sale at Madewell with code WHATADEAL. I love these simple strappy sandals and this breezy sundress (the buttons down the back!!!). Also, this crocheted bag!

For a limited time, BaubleBar is offering 20% off their novelty collection with code NOVELTY20. This collection is right up my alley: these watermelon drop earrings are amazing and I love these palm tree studs.

The perfect tan strappy sandal!

Disclosure: If you buy something through my links, I may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. I only feature things I truly love here. Thank you for your support!

Photo by Allie Provost.

The Comeback!

The Comeback by Ella Berman

I am so excited to share this month’s Bad on Paper book club pick! (If you are newer here, Bad on Paper is the podcast I host with my friend Becca.)

This month’s book selection is The Comeback, by Ella Berman. This is such a fun read. It’s suspenseful, it’s got some Hollywood glamour. We both absolutely loved it and think there will be a lot to talk about! It ships 8/3 but you can pre-order it using my affiliate link, if you’d like!

The Comeback, by Ella Berman

There’s so much to talk about with this one.

I will preface this with a trigger warning: there is some sexual abuse. It’s not graphic and it’s just a small scene but want to be upfront.

Becca and I were in a reading “war,” over what our August book club pick would be and this was her pick (mine was The Boys Club BUT we both agreed this book has more to talk about!) and did not disappoint. A young actress (Grace, great name – will make for a harder convo) disappears from Hollywood mysteriously, at the height of her career (the night of the Golden Globes). When the book opens, we aren’t sure what’s happened to her or why she’s decided to leave behind what by appearances seems like the absolute dream.

As the book alternates back and forth between modern day (living at home with her parents in Anaheim and eventually returning to LA) and the past, we learn the physical AND emotional abuse and trauma she suffered at the hands of her famous director boss and mentor Able Yorke. Able is widely respected in the industry and responsible for “making” Grace. But there’s such a dark side to the story.

We slowly learn what he did to her and how he managed to manipulate her for eight years. Eventually getting to how she handles it and manages her “comeback”. While Grace is not always likable (you see a lot of how what she endured impacts her relationship with her family, friends, and husband), you also understand why she did the things she did. And you root for her, wanting her to thrive. I tore through this one and loved the mix of a thrilling page turner with the importance of the #MeToo movement and standing up for what is right.

Similar to The Boys Club (another fav from the month), it weaves heavy issues into something unputdownable and enjoyable to read.

You can order it here, and peruse previous Bad on Paper book club picks here!

Be sure to tune into this month’s book club episode: we talk about The Vanishing Half, by Brit Bennett.

Lastly on the books front, check out my recently updated book Book Club page – it’s the perfect way to find your next book. I’ve recently added a filter for my favorite books by Black authors. Everything I’ve read in the past 5-6 years is there. And you can sort by grade AND genre. I’m really proud of it… along with the beauty hub. I think it’s my favorite part of the site!

The Comeback by Ella Berman

Disclosure: If you buy something through my links, I may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. I only feature things I truly love here. Thank you for your support!

Photo by Allie Provost.

Ariel Gordon Archive Sale!

Ariel Gordon Archive Sale

Ariel Gordon has been one of my absolute favorite jewelry designers for a very long time. I met her back when I worked for BaubleBar and even when I barely had any blog readers she was kind enough to invite me to a blogger event (I think it was a cocktail party maybe?). That kind gesture is something that’s stuck with me. You always remember who was nice to you when you were just starting out! Her pieces are incredible quality – they’re fine jewelry (and priced well for fine jewelry but still… an investment!).

Ariel Gordon Archive Sale

Once a year, Ariel does an archive sale and it tends to fly under the radar (I missed it last year and am still mad at myself!) so I wanted to highlight it here today! It’s only for TWO DAYS, while supplies last – starting today! You can shop the sale here using my affiliate link if you are inclined.

I got a sneak peek of the sale yesterday and was so happy to see this diamond and pearl pendant included. I’d been admiring it for a long time now so finally scooped it up. I’m so excited. It’s one of those pieces I’ve hemmed and hawed over for some time. It’s unique and special and will layer so perfectly with all my other delicate necklaces. She also makes a plain version (no diamonds) which is equally beautiful… I’ve been REALLY into these large pearl pendant necklaces and have been coveting one for a very long time now! This diamond necklace which I already have is also included in the sale! It’s so special and delicate. Other no-miss items (in my book, but go see for yourself!) include this simple cabochon necklace, these delicate paper thin rings, and these petite hoops! There are so many beautiful pieces included.

Ariel Gordon jewelry Ariel Gordon jewelry

Disclosure: If you buy something through my links, I may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. I only feature things I truly love here. Thank you for your support!

Photos from Ariel Gordon’s Instagram.