Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is that when left to my own devices, I talk entirely too much about work. Be it blogging, or social media/my job at BaubleBar, both can dominate my conversation if I’m not careful.
There are two examples that come to mind here.
First there is my friend Victoria. Victoria has become one of my closest friends from blogging and outside of blogging. Our friendship really began a couple years ago where we would do these Facetime chats and talk about blog strategy. From content ideas to working with brands and media kits, it was really nice to have a friend to bounce ideas around with. We talked briefly about other things but for the most part, blogging dominated our conversation. I didn’t even really think about this until more recently. Then she moved to New York and we got to take our friendship to the next level – IRL. A few months ago, we were at brunch and she said, “Can we just not talk about blogging today?” I remember feeing a little bit awkward. At first it felt weird to not be talking about work… but it ended up being so incredibly nice. Over time we just sort of naturally stopped talking about blogging {for the most part} when we meet up and I think our friendship has really deepened because of that.
The next example happened this weekend. I had dinner plans with my sister and a girlfriend, and ended up inviting two coworkers along. I emailed my friend to update the reservation and she said something like, “totally! Just no work talk, okay?” So I placed a ban on work talk. My sister then emailed to say thank you for banning work talk. Oops. So I guess we are pretty bad. We didn’t really talk about work all night and probably had a better time because of that. {Our non-BaubleBar friends probably had a nicer time, too.}
I think it is an occupational hazard – when you are passionate about what you do, it will come up. But at the same time, there is so much more to life and our relationships than our jobs. By switching up the conversation to talk about life {vs. work} I think we end up a little bit more relaxed – and getting to know our friends + colleagues even better.
I am making more of an effort to be mindful of this, and before I see friends I silently think to myself about a few non-work related things that we can chat about. It has gotten a lot easier, to the point where I don’t think about it as much as I used to. Like any other bad habit, it has just taken a little bit of time to break!
What do you think? Do you talk about work too much? Anyone else ever have to make an effort to stop talking about it so much? {Please say yes so that I don’t feel like such a workaholic freak!}
I don’t know the original source of this image, but I found it on Pinterest, here. If you know where it came from, please let me know!
I am totally and completely guilty of this! (drives my husband insane!) But here’s the thing – i also work as a social media director and sometimes (ok, alot of the time) it’s a round the clock job. The constant checking in makes the lines between work and life very, very fuzzy – i think it’s pretty challenging to de-fuz. Your post is a great reminder to make that effort – to take some time to talk life and attempt at de-fuzzing those lines. Thx, Grace – this was a good one!
yes!! too much work talk all the time, its weird. we have to try harder!
Xo,
Belen
http://blog.androbel.com
So, so smart. I’m a terrible instigator of “work talk.” Sometimes I use it as a crutch since I don’t know really know how to interact with some of my coworkers without it, even though it ends up feeling tired. My work and social circles overlap a lot and it’s so easy to talk about work even with friends, when we talk about who is collaborating with who and how things have been going at work. Taking a break really is key. I need to make a concerted effort to say no work talk – thanks for the reminder.
P.S. Loved your Fit Files post the other day and looking forward to more. I have just been terrible about blogging and everything else in life (besides working out) these days. Hope you are well!
Good point. I think people should make an effort to keep the work talk to a minimum, when they’re with people who they don’t work with. I don’t see as much of a problem with talking with my coworkers about work, since we’ll all “get” it (know the people/situations that we’re referring to, etc). But I think a lot of people don’t realize that when you’re talking about your job, it’s kind of boring for people who aren’t in the same industry. That being said, I feel like your job at Bauble Bar would be really interesting to hear about! And also, I actually wish I had more IRL friends to talk about blogging with and bounce ideas off of, but I guess that’s maybe because it’s a fun hobby to me and not a full-time job.
Oh I do this as well. It’s hard when you own your own business (which we bloggers do), it’s like a child. But i know people don’t want to hear every thing about my kid, and they sure don’t want to hear every thing about my business or 9-5 job. I went to dinner with friends the other night and made a “no work talk” rule and we had the BEST deep conversation and the best deep belly laughs! Great reminder, Grace!
I’m usually the one asking my co-worker not to talk about work. Sometimes I just need a break.
xo
PinkSole
This occurs in my life too! Only I do not have a career, it’s my hubby. He owns a dental laboratory, he makes teeth, which is his passion. He talks teeth all the time. He has teeth tattoos all over his arms, which invite conversations with complete strangers everywhere we go. His face lights up when he discusses dental implants or partials or anything dental! And sometimes, well, most times, it goes way over my head! Dentists call him at all hours, even weekends and evenings to discuss cases. I have been left at restaurant tables alone while he removes himself to take a call. I find myself jealous that he is so lucky to have a career that he loves. It is a part of this man that I love so dearly, but I have been known to banish tooth talk!
I’m SO SO guilty of this – at home, especially! Since my father and I work together, we usually lose the attention of my mother and husband pretty quickly. A seemingly innocent conversation about the status of a project will find my husband reading his iPad, my mother on the phone with her sisters, and a bottle of wine polished off. Oops. Papa Palepu and I need to put a ban on all pharma talk when the rest of the family is around – and hell, even when it’s just us.
I’m pretty bad about this with blogger friends, but I’m trying to get better. It’s great having girlfriends who share our interests – books, a newfound addiction to workout classes, addictive television.
Totally relate to this, Grace! Also trying to be more mindful of this, especially the last few months as I’ve thought more about things like how no one looks back and says things like ‘wow, I loved how they talked about work all the time,’ but people do like back and say things like ‘wow, they were a great listener and friend!’
I loved how during our last brunch with some of our blogger friends it was more ‘life and love’ talk than blog talk! Those are the relationships that will last long after our blogging days are over. Looking forward to catching up at the end of Feb with you, sweet girl!
You know, I was thinking it was just me that was feeling like your sister and your friend do. I have a roommate that all she does when she first gets home is bitch and complain about work. ALL the time. Its all she’s ever done since she started working. It’s not really that she’s talking about work in general, but just all the annoying and stressful stuff that could give anyone the impression that she absolutely hates her job, even though I don’t think she really does that much. I used to do the same thing when I started my first grown-up full time job. I would come home and bitch about everything, and one day I posted something on my FB and my uncle replied with, “Doesn’t sound like you like your job very much, does it?”, and that’s when I realized that maybe I had been complaining too much, and in retrospective, I actually really do like my job. All jobs have shitty aspects to them. Since then, I’ve really learned when its appropriate to complain about your job, and when its not. I have a feeling that one of these days I might have to say to my roommate what my uncle said to me…
I totally do this and I’ve been trying to stop (BUT I CAN’T!!) Glad it’s not just me hahaha
I am not typically a commenter, but boy can I relate to this. I have a theory–people who are really passionate about their work, are doing what they’re meant to be doing, or are running their own business that they love–have a very difficult time just “turning it off.” This is because when your business is your life, the 2 are not compartmentalized like someone else who works a 9-5 job. When you’re talking about your business to others who may not be as engaged with their work or have something they’re passionate about, I can understand why they wouldn’t want to hear you go on and on about your challenges and successes.
Of course, I really appreciate those who are supportive and don’t try to make me feel bad for living and breathing my business. On the flip side, I work at my business with several family members. We actually implemented a rule where we can’t talk about work on our extended family vacations or we have to put money in a jar! Establishing those boundaries has been really helpful to make sure you don’t annoy other people. And I agree with a previous commenter – it’s important to realize that conversations aren’t all about you, and others always appreciate it when they get equal time.
It’s a balancing act!
I know how your friends feel! I’m constantly around my husband and his co-residents and at this point I feel like I know so much about their field I could probably come up with a treatment plan on my own!
I agree and can relate to this completely. It’s wonderful to be passionate about your career, but it is hard to “turn it off”! Especially in the marketing/communication fields. Thanks for the tips!
Ah not talking about work is SO HARD because it’s something that takes up the majority of the day. I have to say, I’m typically pretty good not talking about work related topics when I’m with non work friends, but my work friends and I are so bad at it. Last night, even, my friend said “Tell me something not work related” because we had just spend the past 30 minutes discussing work! I do wish I had some more blogging friends because it would be nice to talk about ideas and collaborations!
Yes, Yes, Yes… I definitely do. But since blogging is becoming a bigger portion of my life, I find myself talking about this more than my 9-5. BUT I feel like my IRL/non-blogger friends don’t really get blogging, so it forces me not to talk about it much. Victoria made me realize this too! She’s so good about balancing things out.
This is a problem and it only grows worse as we get older and work really starts to dominate our lives. Because we spend so much of our time working, its hard to have anything else to really share and talk about. It is important to make that effort to not discuss work outside of work because I think it really influences that “work life balance” that we should all strive for.
Great reminder!
Summermichaela.blogspot.com
Aww, love you, G! I’m so thankful that we can “leave work behind” and get REAL with each others. Here’s to many more dates NOT about our work…after all, we are so much more than that!
I think it’s a fine line, for sure. I would actually find it super interesting to hear about your work! But of course, if that’s all one talks about it would get old. It is important to have separate areas of your life that are sacred from things like work!
I “suffer” from the same issues. Either blogging or work, but when they inspire you, drive you and motivate you, I don’t really see it as that big of a problem. You’re passionate about what you do and you want to share that passion.
Love this post, Grace! And like so many others I’m sitting here relating.. I make it a point to spend time with my “non blog related” friends so that the conversation isn’t saturated with all things blogging. Hope to see you this week at some point! xo
I can totally relate, especially when co-workers and I are on the road (which we are a ton) we have a tendency to only talk about work. I’ve made a rule that when we sit down to dinner no work talk. We work all day and I’m sure there are great stories but I want to hear the ones about your friends, family, hobbies etc. that make you you and it’s been working pretty well! Now I need to follow that rule at home with my beau and blogging convos,.sigh.
xoDonna
http://www.soyouagree.com
As an individual who is currently unemployed and somehow surround by colleagues who work together in a profession I know nothing about….I wish they would adopt this mindset sometimes! Several times when hanging out I chime in with a ‘timeout’ symbol and challenge them to discuss non-work topics, which they thank me for doing 🙂
Oh goodness, don’t get me around teachers. I can teacher-talk for HOURS. My siblings have heard mom and I go on and on and on… But so many careers are isolating – teaching, blogging, etc – so sometimes work talk is necessary…