Today’s outfit is what you’ll find me in 99% of the time when I’m running around just trying to get things done. My favorite cozy but still chic puffer, jeans, and the best slip on sneakers ever. Seriously. I talk about these sneakers all the time but couldn’t love them more. They’re SO comfy. And they add just the tiniest bit of height, too. Oh and my new glitter sunglasses. The best.
Today though, I wanted to talk about confidence. Confidence is definitely not something that comes naturally to me. All my life, I’ve always thought about what other people think, and prioritized that over what I think. I remember when I started blogging; especially when I would post my outfits… how friends would react. Most were like “whatever” about it, a few encouraged it, but I caught a lot of flack. Posting your outfits online was still a new weird thing and (oof) I remember my boyfriend at the time saying something to the effect of maybe his friends would like me more if I didn’t post my outfits online.
In hindsight I don’t even know why I kept going with it. The blog wasn’t making any money, it was taking up a LOT of my time and I was so obsessed with what other people thought of me (cringing writing that but again, being honest), and knew people were making fun of it… but it always felt like I was doing a good thing. I wasn’t posting my outfits because I thought I looked super hot or fashion-y, I was posting them because I wanted to share and connect with other women who were like me. And that worked. Having some distance from that period of my life though, I’m really f*cking proud of myself for sticking it out. That relationship ended and when it did end, I was probably at an all time absolute low, confidence-wise. (This was ages ago – maybe six years???)
Aether Puffer // Vince Sweater // Good American Jeans // Chanel Purse // Vince Warren Sneakers // Karen Walker Sunglasses
ANYWAY, this story ends differently. I am a different person now. I don’t know what happened. Somehow, six years later, I am just me and I like me! Sure, there are things I’d change but overall I’m pretty happy. Maybe that comes with age? Learning not to care so much about what other people think is hard and takes a lot of work. We all of course want to be liked, but at the end of the day, I laugh at the assholes who made fun of me and what I was doing.
It’s so important to believe in yourself. To get really clear on who you are and what your priorities are. Maybe that thing you love isn’t going to make you rich, but if it makes you happy and fulfilled, then it is WELL WORTH IT.
Back to confidence.
When Becca and I got approached about our live podcast show at Caroline’s, I was kind of like “LOL do you have the right podcast!? Are you SURE? US!?!?!” We had a long chat about it and I was nervous (I never, ever want to commit to doing anything unless I feel like I can be successful at it) but they basically told us that if we sold sixty tickets, they’d be happy and we’d be good.
Sixty tickets. Easy enough. We easily had sixty friends + family members between us that would come out for us. COOL.
And then we sold the whole thing out. Which still just feels crazy to say.
I did say at one point to Becca that we would sell the whole thing out. I am not entirely sure I believed it myself but once I said it out loud, it was out there and I was sort of like “Oh shit, I said that, so now we need to do that!” And we did! The live show is now sold out and I could not be more stoked / excited / terrified!
This has all got me thinking:
What if? What if we all just started blindly believing in ourselves, as if it were instilled in us from birth that we are amazing. Believing that no matter what we do, we’ll be successful!?
I am giving that mentality a try. And I encourage you to do the same. Confidence isn’t something that comes organically to me – it will probably be something I always have to work on. But I identify easily (especially after so many years in the corporate world!) with this type of attitude. I’m going to go into every situation I face believing I will succeed. Will I prepare for it like crazy? Of course. Will I stress a bit? Most definitely.
But I am going to believe in myself, and put that belief ahead of any stress or anxiety. Not just blindly, but because I’ve worked for everything I have achieved so far. And that’s what I want for you too. We deserve this. You deserve to believe in yourself and be successful because you are fully yourself. Of course, prepare. Of course, work for what you want. Work HARD. That’s important. But at the end of the day, confidence is probably the biggest reason that we’ll be successful in anything we do. So I am adopting a more confident mindset and choosing to believe that I will succeed in everything I do. And I think you should too!
photography by Carter Fish.
I know what you mean, Grace! I feel so self-conscious because I have a blog, and since high school people have always judged me for me. Totally feel ya on this post! Cute outfit, though 😉
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
Thanks so much Charmaine!!! xx
I just adore you.
aw thank you teddi!
So I’ve had a similar realization myself! I think a lot has contributed to it, including living a healthier life (sleeping more, eating healthier, drinking plenty of water, working out regularly, etc.) and another big part of it is definitely age. As much as I wish my confidence wasn’t directly correlated to my body, I do have a better sense of confidence just treating my body well and understanding it so much more. So it’s not so much a superficial appearance thing as it is just being at peace with who I am, body included. I feel so much less awkward in my own skin than I did five years ago and definitely more than I did 10, 15, and 20.
I could not agree more!!!! I find when I’m regularly exercising, waking up early, drinking a lot of water and less alcohol, I feel so much better. Another thing that helps is putting on a cute outfit even if I’m just working from home. I really do think that when you look your best you also feel your best. xx
First of all, that’s a super cute outfit but still very comfy which I love.
Second, confidence is something I struggle with as well. I like to think I’m pretty confident (still not at my best but slowly getting there) but sometimes insecurities hit me hard. I’m currently unemployed and blogging is pretty much all I do all day while I don’t get a job and sometimes people make nasty comments about how I don’t do anything all day and it hurts a little. I’m confident in my blog and the work I do but sometimes it’s easy to get carried away and think I suck at it and should get a “real job” instead. And I definitely agree that confidence comes with age. When I was younger I was so insecure because I barely knew who I was and because society tends to look down on teenagers so I felt very insecure and the more I become an adult I get more confidence because now if other adults are rude to me is because they’re assholes and not because they like to put me down because of my age, you know what I mean? I still have a lot to work on and it’s nice to see that no matter how much we hear about confidence in social media, in real life, it’s not that easy and everybody goes through ups and downs. Thank you for sharing your struggles, it makes me feel like I’m not alone.
I know that feeling all too well. Recently I heard that a friend referred to my lifestyle as “self care all day.” A few years ago that would have really hurt my feelings but this time I just kind of giggled at it because it made me realize how little of a clue she had as to what my days are like.
Sending you positive vibes, I hope that your work situation improves – OR, if blogging full time is what you want to do, that you do that too! xx
This coat looks so fluffy and warm! YAY!
x Lisa | lisaautumn.com
Thanks Lisa, it is!!!
Your ex sounds like an ass, it’s hard not to care what people think but it’s almost never a good thing. It’s a work in progress for me but whenever I feel like I’m around people who are “judgy”, that’s usually my cue to distance myself from them. Also I’ve learn to understand that people always project their insecurities so that I don’t judge them in return.
Thanks so much Rach – couldn’t agree!! 🙂 xoxo
I love this. It’s so important to have a “fake it til you make it” attitude. Telling yourself that you can do it (even if you think you can’t) boosts your confidence and you start to believe yourself! Positive, encouraging self-talk is soooo vital.
Totally agree, thank you! xx
Cute outfit and well done on the sell-out! I teach pilates on the side and am a huge animal lover. I’ve been wanting to do a “Puppies and Pilates” event forever and it’s finally coming together! Just did the save the date and then panicked…like oh sh!t now I actually have to teach this. Hoping it all comes together and everyone has fun (and I don’t look like a moron) Gulp!
That is amazing – sounds SO fun… congratulations!
Ugh also wish I could come to this too!
We will do more! We hope!!!!!
Grace, I just want to say that your posts in 2019 have just been so spot on. Your voice is SO wonderfully refreshing. And everything you write about here comes across 100% in your posts. I consistently follow probably 10(ish) bloggers, and you are far and away the one I would most like to be friends with IRL! Keep doing you!
Awwww THANK YOU!!!! Seriously such a kind comment. Appreciate it so so much! XOXO
A confident mindset exudes such a positive vibe! It denotes a healthy energy and will help to overcome any doubts, anxieties, and negative thoughts. As you said, hard work is important, and the real deal payoff is confidence! Great post!
Thanks so much Suzanne! I couldn’t agree more!
I SO wish I could come to your live show. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you’ll come to Chicago SOON! 🙂
You’ll do fabulous at your live show – go kick a$$ lady!
Aw thank you so much!!!!! Chicago is top of the list for our next few shows! XOXO
LOVED this post so much, Grace!! I think people think confidence is an attribute some people are just born with (and for some it is) but I also believe confidence is something to work hard for and when we work hard for things they almost always happen. I’m so excited for you and Becca and the success the pod is having. I seriously looked into buying a ticket from LA to NYC for the live show but the round trip was $$$$$ so hopefully you’ll go on the road at some point and if not to LA, maybe somewhere half way 🙂 I can’t wait to listen to the pod episode and hear from all your special guests!!
I totally agree! I’m definitely someone who has to work at it more. 🙂
And fingers crossed for more shows!
Congratulations on your show! Wish I had known about it earlier! I totally would’ve grabbed a ticket! Love this realistic running around outfit! Thanks for keeping it real, G!
We will have more!! xo
Exactly what I needed to read today, thanx Grace… self doubt creeps in so often that I put things off regularly. Little things like trying my hand at a new gym class to presenting my latest design initiative at work. Sounds silly but its there…
Let this new season bring us all more confidence 🙂
I’m so glad it was helpful! Thanks Nikki!!!
Congratulations for selling out your show! That’s a huge accomplishment. I will be able to say I listened to your very first podcast episode way back when!
Thank you so much! We’re really excited!!!
Glow up lady!
Just keep seizing the day with all your joy,splendor and magnificence! And shining your light! Xox
thank you so much!
Love this. On confidence: In my big law job, i hear over and over from my male colleagues that they make themselves “experts” in a particular area by repeatedly telling people they are experts. They write articles, speak on panels, and talk themselves up until their names are truly recognized as experts. Not because they are, yet, but because they’ve been putting that message out about themselves and people remember. Once they have that expert title, clients want them to do the work all the more, giving them the opportunity to actually become experts by working on the same issues day in and day out. It’s fascinating to me. Confidence is so funny, somehow you have to trick yourself and others into believing its real and then all of a sudden, it is. Wild.
That is SO, SO interesting!!!!!
Thank you for sharing that. It’s crazy!!!
Confidence definitely comes with age! When I was young I was so preoccupied with the way others saw me I’d put on a full face of make up just to pop round to the corner shop for some milk.
But now that I’m in my 30s I feel much more comfortable in my own skin and I look and feel better I ever did.
Btw. I love your running around outfit! It’s pretty similar to my go to outfit of jeans and a jumper / T-shirt. And in the summer instead of jeans I live in my yoga leggings ☺️
Totally agree 🙂 Thanks for weighing in Dominika! xo
v v grateful to you for writing this! I’ve been painting and stuff for Etsy for years, and have been toying with the idea of a website that combines technique work and other interests to show how mindful painting can be, but it’s so so easy to get hung up on the fact that it’s just an idea, and not a fully fledged one at that. Then again, seeing people who have (not perfect, but pretty damn good!) work that they’re developing, that’s in progress, is a reminder to get out of my own way and go for it. Easier said than done, but I appreciate advice like this as it hits like a reminder to freaking believe in myself and stop being such a self-denigrating perfectionist.
I love that idea!!!
I love your way of thinking…so very positive!