Today’s outfit is what you’ll find me in 99% of the time when I’m running around just trying to get things done. My favorite cozy but still chic puffer, jeans, and the best slip on sneakers ever. Seriously. I talk about these sneakers all the time but couldn’t love them more. They’re SO comfy. And they add just the tiniest bit of height, too. Oh and my new glitter sunglasses. The best.
Today though, I wanted to talk about confidence. Confidence is definitely not something that comes naturally to me. All my life, I’ve always thought about what other people think, and prioritized that over what I think. I remember when I started blogging; especially when I would post my outfits… how friends would react. Most were like “whatever” about it, a few encouraged it, but I caught a lot of flack. Posting your outfits online was still a new weird thing and (oof) I remember my boyfriend at the time saying something to the effect of maybe his friends would like me more if I didn’t post my outfits online.
In hindsight I don’t even know why I kept going with it. The blog wasn’t making any money, it was taking up a LOT of my time and I was so obsessed with what other people thought of me (cringing writing that but again, being honest), and knew people were making fun of it… but it always felt like I was doing a good thing. I wasn’t posting my outfits because I thought I looked super hot or fashion-y, I was posting them because I wanted to share and connect with other women who were like me. And that worked. Having some distance from that period of my life though, I’m really f*cking proud of myself for sticking it out. That relationship ended and when it did end, I was probably at an all time absolute low, confidence-wise. (This was ages ago – maybe six years???)
ANYWAY, this story ends differently. I am a different person now. I don’t know what happened. Somehow, six years later, I am just me and I like me! Sure, there are things I’d change but overall I’m pretty happy. Maybe that comes with age? Learning not to care so much about what other people think is hard and takes a lot of work. We all of course want to be liked, but at the end of the day, I laugh at the assholes who made fun of me and what I was doing.
It’s so important to believe in yourself. To get really clear on who you are and what your priorities are. Maybe that thing you love isn’t going to make you rich, but if it makes you happy and fulfilled, then it is WELL WORTH IT.
Back to confidence.
When Becca and I got approached about our live podcast show at Caroline’s, I was kind of like “LOL do you have the right podcast!? Are you SURE? US!?!?!” We had a long chat about it and I was nervous (I never, ever want to commit to doing anything unless I feel like I can be successful at it) but they basically told us that if we sold sixty tickets, they’d be happy and we’d be good.
Sixty tickets. Easy enough. We easily had sixty friends + family members between us that would come out for us. COOL.
And then we sold the whole thing out. Which still just feels crazy to say.
I did say at one point to Becca that we would sell the whole thing out. I am not entirely sure I believed it myself but once I said it out loud, it was out there and I was sort of like “Oh shit, I said that, so now we need to do that!” And we did! The live show is now sold out and I could not be more stoked / excited / terrified!
This has all got me thinking:
What if? What if we all just started blindly believing in ourselves, as if it were instilled in us from birth that we are amazing. Believing that no matter what we do, we’ll be successful!?
I am giving that mentality a try. And I encourage you to do the same. Confidence isn’t something that comes organically to me – it will probably be something I always have to work on. But I identify easily (especially after so many years in the corporate world!) with this type of attitude. I’m going to go into every situation I face believing I will succeed. Will I prepare for it like crazy? Of course. Will I stress a bit? Most definitely.
But I am going to believe in myself, and put that belief ahead of any stress or anxiety. Not just blindly, but because I’ve worked for everything I have achieved so far. And that’s what I want for you too. We deserve this. You deserve to believe in yourself and be successful because you are fully yourself. Of course, prepare. Of course, work for what you want. Work HARD. That’s important. But at the end of the day, confidence is probably the biggest reason that we’ll be successful in anything we do. So I am adopting a more confident mindset and choosing to believe that I will succeed in everything I do. And I think you should too!
photography by Carter Fish.