Today’s post is of a more serious nature but before we dive in, this dress is just the best. I included it as one of my five key pieces for Fall. Flattering, affordable, will be cute with tights and boots later… I can’t say enough good things.
Anyway today’s post was going to be more ramblings on cute clothes and such and I get it, that’s why you come here, so I’m still sharing my outfit details. But last night I sat down to write the text for this post and I was just coming up short. I was really, really sad and couldn’t turn on my happy voice to talk about clothes and shoes and lipstick. And I want for this place to always be a positive place for you to come, with pretty things to look at but yesterday was just so sad. I woke up to the news of the Las Vegas shooting – the most deadly shooting in American history. 527 injured, 59 dead. I’m so sad for our country. It feels like there is a new tragedy every day, and they keep getting worse and worse. (I’m not even mentioning Tom Petty but that only added to the sadness of the day. Man. As I write this, I’ve got his Spotify channel playing. Saying a little prayer.)
Anyway, I feel sick and sad and disappointed and disgusted and basically all of the emotions.. and I have been struggling to figure out how I can help. My friend Kelly wrote a great post on how to help and what to do, but in the meantime… hug your loved ones and take the time to pray/meditate/practice self-care. Last night I went for a long bike ride and then came home and took a bath.
Outfit Details: Band of Gypsies Dress (also here) // Gorjana Choker // Gorjana Necklace // Gorjana Earrings // Stuart Weitzman Sandals // Chanel Purse // Celine Sunglasses
Kind of going with that, there is something else that’s on my mind. Not every blogger is going to talk about politics or address these more serious issues on their blog and I think that’s a) totally and completely their choice, and b) okay – it doesn’t mean they don’t care or aren’t affected by what’s going on in the world, they are probably just dealing with it in their own way. I saw a little miniature war break out on twitter yesterday between two bloggers I that I really like and respect. One basically said (in her own words) that no one should be posting outfits and fashion-y stuff during a tragedy. The other shot back asking her if she went into work that day.
I see both sides of it as I’ve received comments/emails from you guys with different viewpoints. Some of you guys really like when I talk about more serious issues, and some of you don’t. On one side, blogs can provide a sort of lightness, a distraction, when things are hard. I remember when I posted about the election, I got a lot of emails saying things like, “hey, I respect that you posted about your feelings on the elections but COME ON… I come to your site for a break from politics… to read about fashion and happy things!” Or there was that time I endorsed Hillary Clinton on my Instagram account and lost nearly a thousand followers in the matter of a couple hours. (No regrets on that one but it took me a reallllly long time to make up the difference.) On the other side of the coin, I was sick during the Women’s March and got mean DM’s criticizing me for not marching. So I get that. I have always felt personally inclined to use my platform share my views on the more serious stuff but I can also understanding not wanting to. It’s a personal decision and most of the time you end up feeling like you just can’t win.
So if your favorite blogger is staying silent or sticking to posting pretty things, it’s probably not because they don’t care about the bigger issues. They likely see sticking to posting their usual content as a) their job and something they have to post every day no matter what, or b) are nervous or unsure of what to say. It’s just a thought. I think at this time right now, things are hard enough… we (bloggers, women, people, humans) need to support each other, and spread love + kindness. There’s already more than enough hatred and judgment out there.
And so, friends, I have three small (tiny!) challenges for you. In the spirit of kindness and brightening someone else’s day… let’s all try and do these three things today… (and maybe the rest of the week, for that matter… I’m going to do them too!)
one // send a nice note, text, or email to at least one old friend or family member to brighten their day. Tell them something you love or appreciate about them.
two // pay at least three genuine compliments to three different people. It’s amazing how much a the tiniest kind words (“I love your shoes!” “You did such a great job in that meeting!”) can brighten someone’s day.
three // do something good for yourself. Get out for a run – or better yet, a long and relaxing walk. Take a bath. Do a face mask. Buy yourself bodega roses. Heck, pay yourself a compliment!
Photography by Carter Fish.
I know what you’re saying. It seems like no matter what a blogger says, there’ll always be someone they can’t please!
Definitely going to be doing your little challenge today!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
Aw GOOD! Let me know how the challenge goes!!!
Look, everyone has their own style right? I personally love that you share personal feelings, reactions to what’s happening in our world, and thoughts on politics. Part of the reason I prefer The Stripe over some of the other blogs out there is because you are real and I don’t feel like everyone post is written by a robot or is a sponsored post where nothing feels authentic. I read blogs like this because I’m looking for insight into how real women, my peers, live their lives. If you don’t talk about politics or stand up for your values, or react to the world around us, then I’d feel as though you aren’t grappling with I am every single day and it would be harder to relate.
So in short, keep doing what you’re doing. It keeps this reader coming back day after day.
Aw thank you for the kind words Sarah – truly appreciated.
Thank you for sharing this. I think these small moments of kindness are crucial and a truly important reminder.
I read your blog because you are not afraid to state your opinion or feelings. You keep it real. I follow Yoga With Adriene, and yesterday we dedicated our practice of Yoga After A Disaster to Las Vegas. The release of pent up sorrow and anger was overwhelming. I hope other readers of this blog take time in their own way for self care because we need to fill our soul with love before we can reach out to others in need.
Thank you Valerie.
And yes to self care this week.
On another note, I have been wanting to try Yoga with Adriene – do you like it??
I see both sides- addressing current events and not addressing. Personally, I’d rather see someone address it in a thoughtful manner. It shows there is more to the blogger than just posting about material things. There are always going to be people who disagree and they can not read/follow if that’s the case. For me, the thing I like about blogging is actually getting to see some personality of the blogger. If I want strictly fashion, i’d go read a magazine.
Discourse is also an important part of life, not everyone is going to agree on everything all the time, just like not everyone is going to like everyone and that is okay.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Wendy!
I appreciate you bringing this up, Grace. Yesterday was so emotional and there are 100% two sides to this, which you brought light to. I used 140 characters to get out my frustrations, and it was certainly taken the wrong way. In the other blogger’s defense, my original tweet did make it sound like I was talking about everyone. I hoped to clear the air and talk about those who were using their platforms to post about the tragedy and then (in the same photo) link to what they were wearing. I called out insensitivity, I felt I owed the victims that much. I’m very aware that life must go on and everyone has jobs to do (myself included), but at that point in time my frustrations came out and caused a disconnect between myself and that blogger — who I absolutely adore (for the record).
As always, you worded this so perfectly, and I applaud you for that. After an extremely emotional day, I’m looking forward to spreading kindness and not letting the anger and frustration of tragedy prevent me from moving forward.
Pink Champagne Problems
Ha ha. No judging here. Reading your comment makes morse sense now – it did, to me, feel like you were talking about everyone but that makes more sense (that’s a personal pet peeve of mine too – feels a bit disingenuous!) I think tensions were flying high yesterday. For the record, I LOVED your post today… so well put. xx
It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation, right?
For what it’s worth, I would rather lose followers and speak my truth than feel the need to sugarcoat life. There is a way to share inspiration and happy things while acknowledging horrific events as they happen, and encourage others to take action. You do it beautifully.
I also come from the ‘with great power comes great responsibility.’ If you have a platform, it’s important to use it to help make the world a better place. Not everything post needs to be political or hard news, but we do need to take a stand and publicly support the causes and issues that matter – while listening respectfully and hearing other people’s opinions. What I’ve found is that we largely want the same things (affordable healthcare, job creation, fewer (or no) abortions, no senseless gun deaths). If conversations stay focused on these goals, we have a common ground and a place we can start coming together.
Totally. I feel the same as you do – I want my platform to be a way of doing a bit of good, and hopefully make the world a better place… I just don’t think it’s fair to judge other bloggers who don’t necessarily feel the same way. What and how much you share online is a personal decision.
Agree – whatever people want to post is up to them, and only an individual can decide what’s right for them and their community. It can be difficult to find the words to acknowledge the tragedy while maintaining a business, and for some it’s easier to be silent.
And sometimes, as a reader or social follower, you need that to escape the constant news frenzy.
There is no right or wrong answer. This world keeps changing, and so must we to keep up. It’ll be interesting to see how it evolves alongside the changing media world – and our world in general.
I read your blog every single day (and have for years), so you are obviously doing something that resonates with me. I appreciate the way you share your views, but don’t push them on any of your readers. I think that is a difficult balance to strike and you do it very well. I also always appreciate pretty dresses! Keep doing what you are doing!
Aw thank you Cory. I really appreciate you saying that!
I find it incredibly sad to see people react to these tragedies by making mean comments to others (in this case bloggers) or passing judgment on the ways other people do or do not react publicly. It seems incredibly counterproductive/hypocritical to be angry and hateful towards an innocent person in the wake of violent acts that are themselves caused by anger and hate. Anger and hate towards others is the absolute last way we should be honoring those who lost their lives.
Briana | youngsophisticate.com
I agree. Counterproductive is exactly the right word. We need to band together and support each other and focus on the real issues. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Briana.
As bloggers, we’re dammed if we do/dammed if we don’t. Someone is always going to criticize how we handle a situation. I personally like to see bloggers express their opinions on a topic if it’s in a thoughtful way. While I love all the fluff because I really really do, it’s nice to sometimes get to know the blogger a little better and their stance on the going ons in the world.
The world feels like it’s going crazy with all the disasters/tragedies lately. It’s hard wrap my head around it. We have to move forward and do our best to be kind and love our fellow man. Grace, you are so real and to concur with some of the other comments here, I’ve been reading you since you started this blog and you are always gracious and true. People are angry, hurt and frustrated with all that’s going on and it’s difficult to know what to do. I feel like this is a true lifestyle blog, it’s about life( all of it) and style. I loved Kelly’s idea of going back later to give blood. It’s not just needed today, but for many days to come. People don’t always think of about the aftermath , the ramifications of this and other tragedies will take years to heal. Thank you for being true.
Thanks for always reading Cy, and for your lovely comments. xx
Love love love this post Grace! Thanks for sharing your personal feelings while still being so positive. We all can use a little more realness and positivity! xo Devon Seventeen Dresses
Thank you so much Devon. Hope your week gets a little better. 🙂
I agree with Dana’s comment above. There’s no need to post about a tragedy (shooting, natural disaster,etc) and include a photo of yourself and affiliate links to what you’re wearing. I love reading your blog and appreciate the open dialogue but I personally could have done without the 12 affiliate links and 9 photos of your outfit in today’s post considering the topic.
Your three challenges are a great idea and an easy way to spread some kindness 🙂
That’s fair. I typically work a week or two out on my posts, so I wouldn’t have images for today’s post if I had just scrapped it/moved it altogether and I thought it was better to just change out the text to something relevant for the day but I see your point.
Thank-you so much for saying this. I have to agree with you, little acts of kindness are so important to remember!
I hope you’re having an awesome Tuesday,
As usual, you tackled this issue with just the right words, open mindedness, and sensitivity. You inspire change in your readers…not only in dressing well to help us empowered, but also in advocating for us to make positive impacts in all areas of our lives. I adore you. :). Thanks for all you do!
Aw thank you so much Randee! xx
Thank you so much for including me in this. It truly means a lot and your post brought up something I’ve been meaning to blog about myself — how other bloggers handle things like this. Sometimes I get frustrated when someone doesn’t address it all, but on the other hand, I read blogs for escapism as well.
When I told my husband yesterday morning that I couldn’t bring myself to post what I had scheduled, we actually debated it. He said, Are you sure? Because some people might appreciate the break from all the bad news. Which I get 100%. But in my gut it just didn’t sit right (for me).
But I agree with many of your commenters and you, the last thing we need to do is judge one another about this. We all process in our own ways and time. I, for instance, still haven’t addressed the horrible things going on in Puerto Rico and Mexico. It’s like disaster fatigue.
Anyway, you’ve, as always, kept it real and and handled it with…grace. 😉
Thanks you xo!
Aw I loved your post so so much.
I think you are exactly right – we all process things on our own. I have been feeling disaster fatigue as well which feels awful and selfish to say (I didn’t address PR or Mexico either – there is so much tragedy, I would be addressing a different one every day.)
I think you nailed the challenges we all (whether we are bloggers or not) are facing. Sometimes I just want to watch trashy TV and not know about the news. But I respect your approach and your honesty! Love the kindness ideas and I’m going to put them into effect today. Hoping for brighter tomorrows.
Thanks so much Kate. Me too. xx
Those are beautiful ways to make your and somebody else’ s day so much better! You’re looking charming in this cute stripe dress, it suits you perfectly!
Thank you so much Natali!!!
That dress is beautiful! I just ordered it and can’t wait to put it on! Looks like a very flattering style. I also love Gorjana jewelry. I have those earrings you’re wearing and they are so fun. I have my eye on that necklace now. So pretty. Grace, continue to stay true to your convictions and you will be just fine!
Aw good! I hope you love it – it’s one of my favorites!!!!