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  1. Rachel says 1.27.17

    Beautiful look! Love the coat!


  2. Natali says 1.27.17

    You are a wonderful, admirable and inspiring woman! Love your blog, your way of thinking and your style. Thank you for being a true feminist, I am one and Im very proud of that too!
    Keep up the great work!!!


  3. Sharon says 1.27.17

    Not sure what happened in the world over the last 20 years…. I am 43 and when I was in my 20s, most of us would consider ourselves feminist and would actually use the word and not cringe. We understood that it meant wanting equal rights across the genders. I feel like we have gone backwards ( in many ways) over the last few years and the US election ( I am Canadian) just cemented that feeling for me. I can just imagine how women who were around int he 70s must feel. I feel like the blogger who wrote that article is very, very young and honestly, very, very immature. She has not been in the work force where you realize quite quickly that men ( white men, let’s be honest) rule the world and….. hire and promote their own…. this is why there is a glass ceiling…. I could go on and on on what my experience has been over the last 20 years but I wanted to say that I am proud that you are taking a stand and calling yourself a feminist. You are in great company!

    1. Eva says 1.27.17

      Sharon, how true are your words – I work in finance and am surrounded by “pale, male, and stale” types – rarely do they take care of anyone but their own – thankfully, in the past two years especially, the mid-level management women have rallied and are trying to make the change. The real problem lies in the fact that we meet and talk about the need for change, but no one knows how to make it happen. It’s really simple though, we need more women in senior management that would in turn help other women grow and have an impact – we need more women sponsors. The other problem that I’ve observed lies in the fact that a lot of times, women in positions of power acknowledge and agree with the fact that our industry is dominated by males but they just go along with it, fearful for their own behinds instead of sticking their necks out to disrupt the current hierarchy. Lastly, sometimes the women that get promoted to senior roles are not necessarily deserving but they get pulled up so that they can serve as an example of “diversity” in management. Very difficult to fight against the machine, but the change will happen eventually.

      1. Sharon says 1.27.17

        Yes, Yes, Yes Eva!

  4. Maggie says 1.27.17

    I was so happy to see the title of this blog! I think you addressed the topic in a very approachable way and hopefully this can be a learning experience for those who view feminists as militant man haters.

  5. Julia says 1.27.17

    Thank you for writing this! Everyone should identify as feminists and I love that you dedicated a post to this. I’ve been reading your blog for 5 years now and will definitely continue to support.

  6. janice stern says 1.27.17

    THANK YOU! I am so happy you changed your mind and I pray it will change someone else’s mind. This topic has been on my mind a lot lately and I have explained to my husband that men can be feminists, too. It means exactly what you said and nothing more! PLEASE keep posting important content like this. I am practically jumping and down with happiness reading the content you and Lemonstripes have been posting lately. And I have been tempted to tap my screen and say, “is anyone home?!” at the other blogs I’ve been reading who have been pretending like the past week hasn’t happened. Warning: going on tangent:I suspect that many of the other bloggers I read are happy about Trump’s election and in I would LOVE for them to post WHY. I’m genuinely curious. Also, I 100% align with your political views. Registered independent, split politics between friends, social issues trump (haha) all and lead me to often vote “liberal”, etc. Ok, enough I know I’ve gone on. Have a GREAT weekend and GIRL POWER!

  7. Sarah says 1.27.17

    Thoughtful post- really enjoyed it!

  8. Sarah says 1.27.17

    I love your honesty and I love reading your blog. Great post!

  9. Christina says 1.27.17

    While I do believe in equality between men and women, it hurts to see other woman bashing each other because their beliefs are different (don’t worry, your post is not bashing at all and is eloquently written. We need more of this!) I feel like I can’t go on Facebook anymore without someone posting how their beliefs are so much more valuable or important than mine. I even stood up for myself and my beliefs on a friends Facebook post and was literally torn apart by people I don’t even know and told I had no compassion for women.

    Those are the people who give feminists a bad name, the ones who come down on me and other conservatives because I am pro-life or because I believe in taking care of our country first. That is why I try to distance myself from individuals who call themselves feminists today, because it has become so extreme.

    There has to be a middle ground and I feel like I have been alienated from women’s rights lately.

  10. Brenna says 1.27.17

    AGREED. Also the fact that you shared that quote you posted three years ago is something that I admire. As I get older(I’m 27) I realize that admitting when your wrong is a true trait of character and I have great respect for people when they can admit when they are wrong, or that yes, they aren’t perfect and have made mistakes or said things they probably shouldn’t have. That is another life lesson in itself.

  11. Brittany says 1.27.17

    YES YES YES! i will come back and type more when my daughter (also a feminist!) isnt banging on my keyboard. but i am so glad to see people with influence take a stand. you’re awesome.

    xo, brittany

  12. Carly says 1.27.17

    Love this, Grace! Thank you for sharing. I think it’s been really interesting in the last few months to see bloggers hesitantly share their beliefs on their own blogs and feel they need to apologize for it. This is your space! You should never need to feel guilty or apologize for writing something you feel strongly about, whether or not other people maybe have different beliefs. It always upsets me when people take offense or choose to unfollow because people speak their minds… on their own platform! So thank you for sharing, because I’m sure it’s not easy knowing you’ll likely face some backlash from a handful of readers, but I think the majority can relate to your honesty about the word feminist and think harder about our own relationship to it.

  13. Hailey says 1.27.17

    Between this post and your post (and responses) about the election you have become my favourite blogger. THANK YOU for being real and talking about real issues in between the beauty/fashion posts (although I love those too).

  14. Caitlin says 1.27.17

    This was an amazing post – thank you for writing about the hard things that people don’t always want to hear. You’re a great inspiration for me and I think all women in the way that you carry yourself and your business, and I love every time I see you share something about activism (the first one I remember seeing was Black Lives Matter). Keep up the great work.
    xo, Caitlin

  15. Leah says 1.27.17

    Thanks for using this space to spread a thoughtful and important message!

  16. Maureen says 1.27.17

    I never comment, but I wanted to say thank you for this post. I read a lot of blogs, and I respect the bloggers who have an opinion on important things going on in the world – not just opinions about earrings or wine. So thank you for speaking up, and thank you for being a feminist!

  17. Jules says 1.27.17

    I’m so incredibly happy that you wrote this Grace, my heart is applauding you. I have had this conversation with women in my life lately and am trying so hard to get them to understand the true meaning behind being a feminist. I too had someone open my eyes to the concept- in an eerily similar way- so this really resonated with me. Way to use your platform sister! xo

  18. Emily C says 1.27.17

    You go girl! If there is one thing we should have learned from this last election, it is that we can’t stay silent. Being a human being who supports equal rights should not be off-brand for anyone. Thank you for speaking out. I marched last weekend in my small city, then saw lots of social media backlash from women in my tiny hometown who apparently *don’t* feel like second-class citizens, and seem to have a religious objection to feminism. Yesterday at work I was in a meeting of male peers at the director-level and was asked if I’m the office manager (I’m on the same level – these guys have seen me in action, but apparently never noticed!) I’m sure my male peers never get mistaken for the secretary or assistant. One thing’s for sure – I am DONE not speaking up. Guess I’m still carrying a little of the march with me…hear me ROAR!

    1. Sharon says 1.27.17

      This happens to women all the time. Also being asked how we are going to manage kids and a career while this has NEVER comes up for our husbands/partners. We really have not come as far as people think we have.

    2. Eden says 1.27.17

      Same! I’m 34, graduated 12 years ago, and people still ask if I’m a student and/or call me “young lady.” (I know we’ve all experienced the “Why don’t you smile?” from strangers, too.)

      It shouldn’t be that hard for people to imagine a woman under 40 having a career!

  19. Mary says 1.27.17

    I love this post, your entire blog, your style, and YOUR REALNESS! I am sooo happy I stumbled upon The Stripe last year. I lol a lot reading your blog– especially at the Charlotte ref from SATC! LOL! That is so true. It’s going around! I am totally on your wavelength for this, and I support you 100%! DO not agonize over posting something like this– you totally rock!!

  20. Julia says 1.27.17

    YAS MY KWEEN! Love this post and love you. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with the world.

  21. BSDH says 1.27.17

    As I said on the twitterverse this morning, I am so proud to be a friend of yours. While reading your story from a few years ago, I thought about how we would have described ourselves freshman year of high school. We were so little, innocent, and (sometimes) naive. I’m thinking we would have rebuffed the term “feminist” even though we always fought for equality for ourselves and our team. If the boys’ team got something, we got it too. No questions about it because we wouldn’t stand for that! I love watching from afar as you continue growing and sharing your thoughts on important topics (beauty and fashion included!). xoxo

  22. Brittney Orr says 1.27.17

    I needed to read this post today. I live in rural Oklahoma, where the women’s movement is discredited everyday. Everyday I see people in my Facebook feed (most of which are not only women, but people I consider to be friends, as well as coworkers and neighbors) write hurtful posts targeted at those who just want equality. I am afraid of speaking up in favor of equality because I’ve witnessed how those before me have been attacked. People I once considered close friends feel like strangers because of their viewpoints. This is such a tough subject and it gives me so much relief to read posts like this one. Thank you for being so brave! People can be so mean on the internet.

    1. Lisa says 1.27.17

      Hi Brittney! I live in Oklahoma too and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It’s tough to be a feminist in Oklahoma these days!

    2. JH says 1.31.17

      Brittney and Lisa, I’m “next door” in AR and I was really surprised (maybe shouldn’t have been) by the backlash to the women’s march. When someone I knew said she was all about girl power but wasn’t a feminist, I cited the same definition as this blog did and basically said “yes you are!” I don’t know how it offends people so much to be on the side of equality or to use that term! But if we all stick together, support each other, and keep moving forward, we’ll all get there together. Love to all!

  23. Sophie says 1.27.17

    This is beautiful.

  24. Loved this post! I’m a proud feminist, too, and wish people aren’t afraid to use the term. (I would also add that, to me at least, being a feminist means that women should be free to make choices about what they want to do. If their choice is to be a CEO, great! But if their choice is to stay at home with their kids and be a full-time mom, that’s cool, too. Just wanted to throw that out there because I think some women hear “feminist” and think we’re downplaying their life choices, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Feminism means you do you!)

  25. Emily says 1.27.17

    Kuddos for you for writing this post! I love that you are taking a stance, Grace. And I admire your eloquent writing while doing so. You’re so right, being a feminist is a GREAT thing, and I’m so happy you’re using your platform to bring more clarity to that word. Girl power!
    Isn’t That Charming.

  26. Amanda says 1.27.17

    Thank you for contributing to one of the best, most honest weeks of content in my years of reading blogs. It has been wonderful to read through my daily rotation of blogs and read content of real substance (with a side of bravery at that!). I know fire hand how malicious the internet can be, specifically with regards to feminist issues.
    I am a young professional with an all female staff, and never have I said the words “As a feminist…” more than in the past week. I make a point to show my feminism proudly to my team in hopes that as life brings them issues over the years, they’ll feel comfortable bringing them to me as they’ll know me not only as their boss but as a woman who cares about women. At times I worry I appear weak or soft but then I remember that many of my strengths as a leader are because I’m a woman, not despite that I’m a woman.

  27. Alaina says 1.27.17

    Hi Grace, I understand that you’re worried about ruffling feathers and alienating readers in such divisive times – very thoughtful and empathetic of you. But something I felt while reading this was – you do not have to apologize for what you choose to discuss on this blog! This is YOUR space, that YOU built, and nobody has the right to tell you to stick to ‘your lane’. Fashion and beauty blogs are a dime a dozen and your perspective is what makes this space unique. If you can’t speak your mind here, then where can you?

    Thank you for your honesty. It is so important to share stories like this, and I’m so glad to have you on the “team”!

  28. Brooke says 1.27.17

    Hello! This post is wonderful, and I appreciate the eloquence with which you wrote it. If I could take exception with just one thing, it would be this; “I guess, in my head, a feminist was someone militant. Someone who bashed men or burned their bras. (Nothing wrong with any of that, but at the time that stereotype was someone I just didn’t identify with).” In my opinion, it is wrong to bash men. And feminism gets no where when it does this. Men and women are wonderful creatures, equally. And since equality is what we are after, I think it’s important to point that out.
    I also wanted to address some of the ladies who have asked about those of us who voted for President Trump. I am one of those women. Admittedly, after certain revelations came out about his past remarks, I had a tough time for a few days. Truly. In the end, for me the greater issue of policy that I agree with won out. I truly believe that President Trump will do this country good, I believe he is a patriot who has made mistakes like any other person. His policy won me over, not his personality.

  29. Tracy says 1.27.17

    Yes Yes Yes!

    Thank you for this post. I have shared it with so many friends and now will share on Twitter as well. This was so eloquently written and to the point. Seeing many women divided is gut-wrenching. I hope we can all come together!

    On another note, love the dress for the SAG awards and have an amazing weekend!

  30. Maria Elena says 1.27.17

    Thank you so much for this post! I myself come from a really conservative hispanic family and it is not easy breaking out of that shell. I learned the hard way what it means to be a woman in the society we live in today and how much we have fought and need to keep fighting for equal rights.

    I also live in Puerto Rico, a US territory or Colony, which means not many people know that we are actually US citizens by birth. And I am also a latina woman, which makes it really difficult to feel safe in a government that is rejecting women AND hispanics.

    Again, thank you.
    With love,
    Maria Elena

  31. Rose says 1.27.17

    THANK YOU, Grace. Thanks for using your platform for good; for doing more than ignoring what’s going on, or complaining about something, or pretending like if you say something you will alienate readers. Maybe you will, but if at the end of the day, you’re not standing up for what you inherently feel to be right and true, I (personally) feel like it’s that much harder to (metaphorically) sleep at night. We only get one life on this earth and we have to use that life to make our voices heard and fight for the rights of people who can’t do it themselves, and if losing a couple blog readers along the way is a side effect, so be it! I hope your post changed the views of at least one person reading it, or maybe made them think about things outside of their normal thought boundaries, or from the perspective of another person. Proud to say I know you because of posts like this!!

  32. Sarah says 1.27.17

    I agree with everything you said 100% and have a ton of respect for you for for being brave enough to talk about politics and beliefs on your blog, knowing that you might stir up some controversy. And also being brave enough to call yourself out for your misconception of the word / movement in the past.

    Clearly, the word feminist needs some re-branding because the perception of it is so far off from what it actually means. And you’re doing something incredibly important by using your influence to help educate people on this. I can’t tell you how many discussions I’ve had with women and men on this exact topic and it baffles me every time – I can’t believe how hard it is for people to identify with the word feminist even when their values (supposedly) align with it to a t. It’s crazy.

    Thank you for this post, Grace!

    1. Cy says 1.27.17

      I don’t mean to go “radical” here, but I’m sure this new, negative meaning of the word feminist was very carefully orchestrated. Just like ISIS ( or other radical groups)has nothing to to with with being a Muslim. It’s all about creating fear. Fear of association. It’s easier to dismiss people that way.

  33. Emily says 1.27.17

    Would love a series from you featuring women and how they define feminism. Or what it means to them? Could be among other questions but might be fun!

  34. Stefa says 1.27.17

    Yes Grace! Really enjoying your posts, proud feminist here too.

  35. Diana says 1.27.17

    I loved your election post + love this post, and I love that you’re speaking your mind on something so important! It’s sad how politicized the term “feminist” gets. And in all honesty, it’s frustrating that the term even NEEDS to exist? Believing in equal rights for women should be the standard, something that is expected of everyone — not the outlier! Regardless, I too am proud to call myself a feminist and it’s always great to see that other people are too!

  36. Theodora says 1.27.17

    Thank you for this post. A lot of this has been on my mind, too, but I don’t want to fight with my VERY conservative parents, so I haven’t posted anything publicly to avoid backlash from them…while trying to figure out how I want to speak out/up/help. Also embarrassed to say it took me until my 30s, also, reading that book (which also has its flaws), to learn what feminism truly was.

  37. Sarah S. says 1.27.17

    If you’re a feminist, I’m a feminist. Thank you, Grace! I have felt very defensive and also confused this last week – in my mind, being a feminist has nothing to do with hating men or being un-feminine. I’m a girly girl who lives in the South and supports somewhat traditional gender roles. Men and women are different creatures, but although different, we should always be EQUAL. Please keep sharing your opinions- I love reading them!

    1. Cy says 1.27.17

      Exactly ! Thank you

  38. Cy says 1.27.17

    I just read the twitter rant and wow. I’m 55, and I feel like many of my younger friends also don’t want to associate themselves with the word. The word feminist has become a “bad” thing. Regardless of your political affiliation anyone can be a feminist. I believe in a man being a gentleman and “old world” manners, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a feminist. A feminist is not someone who bashes men. There were many proud, male feminists marching. The author’s points are ridiculous. She has no idea what the word means. I’m here to tell you, the ” glass ceiling” still exists. There is absolutely no argument as why women shouldn’t have the same rights/pay as men. If anyone is in doubt, just look at any statistics regarding single women households. Thank you for bringing this subject to light. And thank you for printing the correct definition! We women are multi faceted. Love the coat, by the way

  39. Jessica says 1.27.17

    Grace this was perfect and brilliant and only you could so eloquently communicate so many of the things I think many of us are feeling/thinking. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It means so much.

  40. Hitha Palepu says 1.27.17

    YES YES YES. I actually remember that post, and I’m so glad you’re embracing the big F word.
    Stay on your soapbox. Keep writing posts like these.
    There is a place for intelligent discourse among outfits, DIYs, and cocktail recipes. And I, for one, am thrilled to read your thoughts on these topics.

  41. Lisa says 1.27.17

    Grace! Love that you can use your platform to share what is important to you in an open way. And it’s important to note that people’s idea of what is important can be very, very different. But anyway – one of my goals this year is to be more active in my community AND be more aware of what is going on in our world. I’m making it a point to read all kinds of news from all sides. I seriously find myself hanging on to your every word, and wanted to throw an idea out… Maybe you could incorporate a series or chat around these topics… So we can pretend that we’re having these conversations with you… with a glass of wine… at midnight 🙂

    Ha ha! But really, thank you for being such an inspiration! Hope the rest of the month is a great one for you!


  42. Caitlin says 1.27.17

    This is such a good post on a very timely topic! It’s one of my pet peeves when people give “feminist” a negative connotation or assume that being girly means you can’t also be a smart, proud feminist. (Or that being a man, means you can’t be a feminist!) True story: my boyfriend marched last weekend while I was getting ready for a wedding we had that night. I was super proud picking him up from the train station to head to the wedding knowing that he had represented us both at such an important event!

  43. Haley says 1.27.17

    Thanks Grace! I am also a proud feminist and am sick of people having issues with that term. Loved your thoughts!

  44. Eden says 1.27.17

    This post (and everyone’s comments) made my Friday! The news each day can be dispiriting, but I also try to remember that a woman won the popular vote by nearly 3 million votes. We have momentum, and posts & discussions like these are so valuable in keeping it. Thank you, Grace.

  45. JP says 1.27.17

    Wow… this was such a great post. Thank you for being so honest and not being afraid. I don’t understand the well-followed bloggers, who avoid talking about what’s going on. I assume they are afraid of offending some of their followers. While talking about #ootd and beach waves is all fun and good, let’s not act like we are living in a bubble of just fun stuff. Thank you again for this thoughtful post.

  46. Dana says 1.27.17

    Long time reader/follower, but this is my first comment ever – because this post was wonderful. Thank you so much for your bravery and honesty!

  47. Alison says 1.27.17

    Amen! I am appalled at how many women are quick to distance themselves from the word just because they (or other people) simply don’t know what it really means. The best way to combat that is to be loud and proud with our beliefs and help remove whatever weird stigma has become associated with feminism.

  48. Jean says 1.27.17

    Grace, What a beautiful thoughtful and brave post. Am so proud to be your aunt! ❤

  49. Kim says 1.28.17

    I’m glad you shared the post, as it hadn’t appeared in my social media universe, and good on you for sharing your opinion and going far in clearing up the inaccuracies it represented about what feminism actually is.

  50. I love your way of thinking. Thank you for sharing your words – you are truly beautiful!

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

  51. […] XOXO – Grace (PS – thank you so much for your thoughtful comments on yesterday’s more personal post… I’ve loved reading them. I have been slowly trying to reply to each and every one of […]

  52. Carrie says 1.28.17

    Yes, Grace, yes. *highfive

  53. Nicole says 1.28.17

    Grace- I loved this post. Similarly to your “embarrassing” moment with the reader comment, one of my high school English teachers had everyone in the class raise their hands if they considered themselves a feminist. I think two or three hesitant people raised their hands. Then, she asked anyone to raise their hands if they thought employees should receive equal rights/ pay for the same work, and miraculously everyone raised their hands. She then proceeded to tell us that we were, in fact, all feminists. Her greater point was teaching us how to craft an argument by definition (a composition & rhetoric class), but that moment stuck with me. Amazing post! Have a great weekend 🙂 Nicole

  54. Maggie says 1.28.17

    Grace, this post was wonderfully written and I really loved it! Such a great breakdown of what the word means and how the connotation around it has become very misconstrued. Have a wonderful weekend and thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic!!

  55. Danielle says 1.28.17

    Thank you for posting this! I completely feel the same and tbh, I had never read your blog before but saw a comment on lemonstripes and decided to come over to read. I’ve decided to support others who use their voice on this topic. I’m adding you to my blog list and look forward to hearing more 🙂

  56. Margaret says 1.28.17

    Thanks for taking a risk and posting this!

  57. Jocelyn says 1.28.17

    YES! I loved reading this. I really connect with your genuine curiosity as to why young women feel that identifying as a feminist is such a bad thing. What kills me is that these women don’t know or appreciate that their lives are what they are because of the efforts of the women (and men)—the feminists!—who came before us. I only wish we could help these women see that our work won’t be over until all men and women, of all races and ethnicities, are truly equal. Thank you for talking about this! Hopefully it will encourage greater dialogue on this crucial topic.

  58. Talya says 1.28.17

    Thank you for this beautiful articulation of some important basics!

  59. Mollye says 1.28.17

    Grace, I really enjoy your blog and love that you shared your thoughts on feminism. Great post!

  60. Julie says 1.29.17

    Grace, thank you for wanting to write about being a feminist on your blog. I have always thought you were genuine and true to your self, and I think this continues to confirm that! 🙂

  61. […] read this necessary post by Grace about what it means to be a feminist and completely […]

  62. Inga says 1.31.17

    Hi Grace,

    I am another one of those silent readers who admires and follows you for the last 4years, yet never comments. But this post is so spot on. Another lady who brilliantly puts it into perspective is a British journalist and author Caitlin Moran:

    ‘So here is the quick way of working out if you are a feminist. A – do you have a vagina? And B – do you want to be in charge of it? If you said yes to both, then congratulations. You’re a feminist, because we need to reclaim the word feminism. We need to reclaim the word feminism real bad.

    When statistics come in saying that only 29 percent of American women would describe themselves as feminist, and only 42 percent of British women, I used to think, what do you think feminism is, ladies? What part of liberation for women is not for you? Is it the freedom to vote, the right not to be owned by the man that you marry, the campaign for equal pay, “Vogue” by Madonna, jeans? Did all that stuff just get on your nerves, or were you just drunk at the time of survey?’

    Thank you for your posts that find the right balance between important issues and beautiful, fun things!

  63. Meghan says 2.1.17

    Hi Grace,
    Thanks for posting; I know it took guts! I feel somewhat paralyzed by negativity in my interpersonal relationships with respect to politics and specifically feminism currently, so I can’t even imagine what that pressure must be like under a microscope as a blogger. I really admire your willingness to admit when you’ve made a mistake and to use your experience to try to help others avoid the same error.

    However: I would like to push back gently on one statement: “or our skin color for that matter but that’s another post for another day.” One important aspect of feminism is that it is intersectional–you’re not really talking about equal rights for women if you’re only talking about white/cis/straight/middle class/able-bodied/fill-in-the-blank women. I know it’s a big topic, but it sort of speaks to your privilege that you can decide to focus on the topic of skin color and how it affects women when it’s convenient to you.

    Note that I say this as a fellow white woman who also struggles with this and I definitely do not have all of the answers here. I don’t say this to be harsh or devisive, but rather to try to start a broader discussion about feminism. I respect your opinion and I’d very much look forward to your thoughts about this.

    Have a great day,

  64. Kristen says 2.2.17

    I really appreciate that you are writing posts with substance to them lately rather just fun beauty and shopping posts. So much has happened in the world lately and I think you are doing a good job of bringing issues up without putting other groups down.

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